A question I have tossed around in my head for years. It’s most likely that many of us who do creative stuff have wondered about this too. Am I drawing for my own enjoyment; am I trying to become famous; or am I simply trying to earn a paycheck each week and support my family? Maybe a mix of all of these?
For me the struggle has always been this: Is it better to do what I want with my drawings, or should I push myself to draw things or work in a style that may get me more attention? The money making part of me is very strong and dictates a lot of decisions in my day to day life, where to shop, what food to buy, what kind of car to drive, where to live, how to dress… It also pushes me in the direction of making art that will get me money or attention. Usually when this happens, the self fulfillment part of me chimes in and I have an argument in my head. More often that not, the self fulfillment part wins.
While in art school I was in a constant struggle, whether to focus on my own work or to do things that people said would get me jobs. My original reasons for going to school were a desire to create and sell my own work, that desire never left but did get put on the back burner a few times while studying. The learning environment can be hostile to making your own ideas at times. I jumped back and forth between my personal work and portfolio friendly work for 2 years, then in my senior year, got myself back on track with doing my own stories. The academic work I did while in college served a purpose and did benefit me, however I wish I had been more honest in my art while doing these projects, and less trying to fit in with what was commonly seen as successful work in school.
Little by little as school ended and my post college art career started up, I began to change my work. It took years and many arguments in my head, but I can safely say now, my drawings are pretty much 100% self indulgent pieces. Almost all of the rules and practices I learned in school have been so drastically changed or thrown out. It appears in the end, I have become a creative individual who is more self indulgent than money making. I do not believe there is a right or wrong answer here though, and perhaps my personal work will lead me to make a lot of money sooner or later, satisfying both sides.
Like many things in life, you learn as you go, and I may go back to drawing for monetary gain, or go even further into myself, who knows. Writing like this is simply a way to get those feelings out in the open and show a little clarity on my intent. I hope this has given you something to think about with you own work too.
